Welcome to UChicago!

Welcome to UChicago!

Dear Class of 2020 Student: Welcome and congratulations on your acceptance to the College at the University of Chicago. Earning a place in our community of scholars is no small achievement and we are delighted that you selected Chicago to continue your intellectual journey. Once here you will discover that one of University of Chicago’s […]

Fighting Methodist: Northwestern vows to accept all applicants to the Class of 2020, increase inclusivity

Fighting Methodist: Northwestern vows to accept all applicants to the Class of 2020, increase inclusivity

EVANSTON, IL — In a revolutionary, if not entirely unexpected, turn of events, Northwestern’s Office of Undergraduate Admission announced a plan to make college more inclusive for anyone who has applied: anyone who fills out an application to Northwestern is automatically accepted, an official from the department said. This policy change follows just days after […]

The Reconstruction Era: The War of Southern Aggression ends

The Reconstruction Era: The War of Southern Aggression ends

Claiming oppression and unjust subjugation to scientific reasoning and rigor, southerners have risen in arms, and all but defeated the north. By laying waste to the Sheridan Railroad, through which the south’s prisoners sought refuge, the northern population is expected to face a steep decline, as its ravaged capital, Mudd Library, is now unwelcoming with the impending arrival of […]

Why CAESAR is the best thing since sliced bread

Why CAESAR is the best thing since sliced bread

By Meghan Gresk If there’s one thing I’ve heard Northwestern students say over and over since arriving on campus, it’s that CAESAR is definitely the best thing since sliced bread. For one thing, it teaches extreme amounts of patience which Northwestern students have never had to exert before. When you have 3:30 pm registration and […]

Time to start planning for next Halloween!

Time to start planning for next Halloween!

By Jack’s Smirking Revenge As your hangover from yesterday’s wild parties wear off, there’s obviously no better time to start thinking about costumes for next year’s Halloween! After all, thinking ahead is crucial to avoid the utter humiliation and embarrassment of crashing every party with a sub-par costume… again. Luckily, we have taken the liberty to generously […]

1 2 3