Last Call for College Ball

Here are all of the items I have destroyed during or just after watching Northwestern basketball games this year: – 1 fork (bent then thrown) – 1 “All We Do Is WIN” t-shirt (cut to strips with scissors then discarded) – 2 “Shurna / #24 = #1” glossy signs (ripped) – 1 giant disembodied head […]

NFL: No Fun League?

photo: Jennifer Villaume Guys, I have a confession to make. This is a safe place right? No judging? Good. I… I don’t like the NFL. Practically blasphemy in American culture, I know, but it has to be said. Don’t get me wrong, I think college football is divinely inspired and the greatest thing to happen […]

Hightower Officiating Through The Ages

On Thursday night, Northwestern shocked me, you, and everybody by overcoming their injuries and staying ahead of title contender Ohio State for 37 minutes. Unfortunately for Evanstonians, referee Ed Hightower gave Deshaun Thomas license to kill in those last three minutes, calling fifth fouls on the well-positioned and immobile Kale Abrahamson and Mike Turner as […]

NU Basketball Columnist Petitions to Transfer

The state of our Hoops is strong. We have crushed the Boilermakers. We have upset two ranked teams. We don’t have to play Michigan or Indiana again. If you ignore the Nebraska game (like me!) then the men’s basketball team is one more big upset away from serious national relevance. Reggie, Sobo, Olah, and Swopshire […]

Ten True Facts I Mostly Made Up That Explain NU’s Turnaround

Minnesota Assistant Coach Vince Taylor oddly NOT crying in this ESPN photo. How good was this week? While tears were running down the cheeks of ex-Dukie and current Golden Gophers assistant coach Vince Taylor Wednesday night (I guess he’s a dramatic guy?), WNUR tweeted that this game was Northwestern’s first victory over a ranked team […]

So There’s a Big Game Coming Up

It’s that time of the year in the NFL. There are just two games left until the last game left of the year, and we at The Chronicle couldn’t be more excited. Mostly because the higher ups at The Chron hate football (and most sports), but whatever. So we have a problem. The Chronicle (me) has […]

Let’s Play “Knockout”: 5 Tips To Fighting At Basketball Games

Their whole student section was wearing these hats. It’s been a discouraging week. What looked like an even contest at #9 Minnesota turned into a blowout, and the conference-winless Iowa Nobodies disemboweled the Wildcats in Evanston. NU’s only conference win thus far came against a Penn State team that scored approximately zero points outside the […]

Things Fall Apart; The Center Cannot Hold

Olah and I have the same unibrow, mediocre muscle tone, and Eastern European style of muted celebration. (AP Photo/Nam Y. Huh) A few weeks ago, I pressed ctrl+b in order to properly emphasize that “Reggie Hearn is every bit as good as Drew Crawford“, essentially saying that both seniors could be considered Northwestern’s best player. […]

My Thesis: Wildcats Terrible, Great, Mediocre

There are few things grimmer than being the sixth man in the waning minutes of an upset loss I’m a senior history student, so I have spent the past week studying and writing about a subject completely irrelevant to modern society, a series of events so terrible yet bland that the grief they caused will […]

Are You Ready to Slay Some Taxes?

On Sunday the 2nd, it was confirmed that Northwestern will be playing in the Taxslayer.com Gator Bowl in Jacksonville, Florida. The game will take place on January 1st. The Cats will be facing the Mississippi State Bulldogs of the Southeastern Conference. Yes, I’m aware that most people reading this probably know what conference Mississippi State is […]