Things Fall Apart; The Center Cannot Hold

Olah and I have the same unibrow, mediocre muscle tone, and Eastern European style of muted celebration. (AP Photo/Nam Y. Huh) A few weeks ago, I pressed ctrl+b in order to properly emphasize that “Reggie Hearn is every bit as good as Drew Crawford“, essentially saying that both seniors could be considered Northwestern’s best player. […]

Terps Rout ‘Cats, Season Basically Over, You Guys

This is much better than a picture from the actual game, trust us. Official Northwestern Chronicle Highlights Reel Click that link! Highlights: [0:00-0:24] A full student section settles in to watch an early defensive battle between two mediocre teams from two great conferences. [0:25-0:50] Freshman Wildcat Center Alex Olah’s face bloodied in a collision below […]

Keeping Up With The Joneses

Two Northwestern players with the last name Jones, Tyris Jones and Tony Jones, scored a touchdown in Northwestern’s 50-14 thrashing of the hapless Illini. A third, Christian Jones, came this close to scoring one of his own. That’s half of the Joneses on the team. Why am I bringing up this random fact? A) It’s […]

What the Hell Happened in Ann Arbor?

What a shitty weekend. My computer broke and had to be replaced. The Chron sat out at the Rock and we froze our asses off. And, Northwestern lost to Michigan in one of the most embarrassing manners possible, putting myself and other fans of NU athletics in a state of shell shock, not to mention […]


Stop me if you’ve heard this one before. The Northwestern Wildcats are leading their opponent for almost the entire game, and then they collapse in the fourth quarter and end up losing. Sound familiar? It should, as it happened just two weeks ago against Penn State (and far too often all of last season). Northwestern was ahead […]

Winning is Winning, I Guess

Northwestern vs. UMinn result: 21-13 It’s good to see Northwestern winning again. Granted, it’s just one game, but after last week’s loss, I was very worried about the future of this team. The Penn State loss was brutal. So much so, that I forgot to write about it because I was too busy drowning in […]

NU Students Suddenly Give a Fuck about Football

This article was originally published on Sep 30 EVANSTON – After the Northwestern football team improved to number 24 in the AP Polls, the Northwestern community gives more fucks about football than ever before. In a stark contrast to previous reports of “indifference to sporting events” and “questionable knowledge of sports lingo, whatsoever”, the Northwestern […]

NU Destroys South Dakota’s Coyotes

This article was originally published on Sep 22, 2012 After three straight games against BCS teams, Northwestern said “fuck it” and turned their schedule on Easy Mode. The Wildcats cruised to an easy 38-7 win over the South Dakota Coyotes. There isn’t too much to say about the game. Northwestern’s Venric Mark scored a touchdown on […]