Ten True Facts I Mostly Made Up That Explain NU’s Turnaround

Minnesota Assistant Coach Vince Taylor oddly NOT crying in this ESPN photo.
Minnesota Assistant Coach Vince Taylor oddly NOT crying in this ESPN photo.

How good was this week? While tears were running down the cheeks of ex-Dukie and current Golden Gophers assistant coach Vince Taylor Wednesday night (I guess he’s a dramatic guy?), WNUR tweeted that this game was Northwestern’s first victory over a ranked team since last year at Michigan State. Well that would have been true, had NU not gone on the road to Illinois and stunned them just six days prior. So what’s brought the team back on track?


  1. My hardcore column about fighting other fans made ’em crap their pants.
  2. The entire team got Tommy John Surgery using Sanjay Lumpkin’s ankle tendons.
  3. Kale Abrahamson’s been inspired by a book about The Book.
  4. Can you believe we have a player named “Tre” Demps? And he shoots threes real well?
  5. Disappointing student turnout at home. I know I’d be more motivated by hearing “Go Red! Go White!” than “Let’s Go Cats!”. But I’m the guy who wrote a column about how I always fantasize about fighting people.
  6. Aaron Liberman’s UnderArmour Yarmulke
  7. MarcoFreakingTullio
  8. Disembodied heads of Rahm, Colbert, one of the Mikes from Mike & Mike, and uh… Some old guy? Nothing distracts our opponents like students waving around cardboard heads of reasonably famous NU graduates.
  9. The student section yelling “You’re a point guard!” at Sobolewski when he’s at the free throw line. Despite the helpful advice he’s still missing half his free throws, but now the other team’s bench knows our students are tough and cool enough to yell at our own players so the psychological advantages balance out.
  10. Omar’s “creepy ass glove”

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