Why CAESAR is the best thing since sliced bread

By Meghan Gresk

Sliced bread

If there’s one thing I’ve heard Northwestern students say over and over since arriving on campus, it’s that CAESAR is definitely the best thing since sliced bread. For one thing, it teaches extreme amounts of patience which Northwestern students have never had to exert before. When you have 3:30 pm registration and want to get that last spot in Russian Lit more than you want life itself, that’s when you need to sit yourself down and remember what CAESAR taught you: the key virtue of patience.

Another great thing about CAESAR: it logs you out every two minutes. Which is great because when you’re surfing for new courses and doing some in-depth CTEC analysis, you definitely don’t want to be taking any breaks even for a second. I mean, you’ve always wanted to test how long you can go without using the bathroom, right?

There’s also no back arrow on lovely King CAESAR, which encourages continuous clickage and a stick-to-it attitude. And if you accidentally press the back arrow on your browser, CAESAR will take you right back to the home page and completely lose all memory of that page you were on or the previous page to which you were trying to arrive. But do not fret! At least you’ll never forget your NetID with all those opportunities to retype it!

And that home page; man, there’s so many different options to choose! And it’s completely disorganized which is great because if you want to find something quickly, CAESAR will remind you of how much fun it is being forced to spend an excessive amount of time trying to find that thing you want to click. Skills for life!

Time? Sanity? Efficiency? Who needs it! I mean really, who even needs bread when you can have CAESAR?

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